For a single female what is the most depressing thing one could hear?

Well it actually could be a number of things. An ex boyfriend has a new girlfriend and wants so badly to introduce you. An old crush is married and sends you all the pictures of the wedding. Your best friend is having a baby or a second in this case. To me, the absolute epitome of a hopeless romantic, all of these things are equally wretched. Never having deep feelings for the ex it just burns that he is so terribly happy with the new girl. The crush getting married, well why is it that he has to rub it in your face that he is so entirely content and makes sure you know that you just were not the right one for him. Mostly because you told him no but that was only because you were afraid of getting hurt. Now you are on the sidelines watching him move on. And finally your best friend is pregnant with child number two and you, you poor soul, are still single with no prospects and more then likely will end up an old spinster because you said no to the one that might have made you happy and you let the opportunity for the wedding and the children pass you up.

“But you have the adventurous life.” They try to tell you. “You can do what ever you want, move where ever you want and be happy.” Happy? Ha! How can one be happy when they are so entirely miserable in the state of their lives? Yes I live where I please, I do what I please and I make friends with whom I please. But what is that to the steady life style of actually having a relationship with anybody?! The last call of the day, falling asleep in the arms of a person you love… strike that. I am not sure I could share my sleeping space. I spread and move about too much. Maybe I reject the relationships because that means someday I will have to share my sleeping space. It could be fully possible. It would, in fact, make much more sense.

However it is still a damned depressing day!
I am blaming it completely on the weather of courses and entirely missing the sun too much. 358 days of sun a year to if your lucky 100. Brilliant move!

I think I may delete the blog. Read "The Washingtonienne" and let me know your thoughts.

Officially the National Western Stock Show has begun. Opening day was January 6. This will be the first year in 5 years I won’t be working and the first in something like 23 that I won’t be attending. I’m sure there was a year or two in there that I didn’t make it.

It really does suck. Shock Show was the high light to my life every year I looked forward to being the country girl and watching the cattle being shown. I tried for months, after the last show, to get a job with an association. I, however, never had the proper educational background to continue on this career path. Being so far away from the show makes it almost surreal that it’s happening without me. I’d almost forgotten it was going on this year. I was reminded on the plane ride back to my current life that I would be missing this year.

I’ve already scanned through the results of the past 3 days and everything seems to be in order. I just wonder what tensions are like in the office. I talked to my boss not too long ago and she was worried that this would be her first year in five of having to be concerned on the happenings in the arena. It’s nice to know you’ll be missed and you were trusted that much that no one had to worry if things were getting done. I know the team this year will do a great job because they have a great boss. I’m just sad I won’t get to be apart of it this time around.

If you’re going to the show have a red beer for me. They just don’t make them the same out here. Say hello to Mr. Hereford for me too. I know he’s there, he’s always there.
The show must go on whether I’m there to organize it or not. Good luck everybody.

Back to the big city. Home was fabulous. The blizzard did suck out a lot of the fun but there was a different kind of fun to be had. I spent much more time with my family then I would have. I was able to spend an entire day with my sister and niece. She’s so absolutely adorable and I love seeing her grow through all the different stages. She’s sitting up now and attempting to roll over. My favorite part is when she cracks herself up… and talking to her animal carousel is so much fun.

I am defiantly glad it doesn’t snow much out here. I am so over snow right now. The weather has been gorgeous although I’ve been attempting to get my head back on from vacation and haven’t seen much of it. So much to do when you are trying to find a job. I really need to get one soon. I am, however, getting much closer to one. A few more details and I think it’s mine. I could use the health insurance. And just think of what I can do on my lunches!!! I’ll have to bring my walking shoes everyday.

After being home for a week I realized something… actually it was almost immediate. It’s so sad to say and it’s breaking my heart, but it’s not my home anymore. It was crazy I felt like a guest in my own room. Things were planned for me and people took time off work to be with me. I pulled my weight around the house… a bit. I’m not very helpful when it comes to “spring cleaning” during a blizzard but I shoveled the walks and apparently I’m damn sexy in my pink pajama’s, barrowed coat and horrible snow hat, the snow plow cleaned out my drive way for me. Saved me a good hour and a lot of swearing. Back to my main thought. I knew I wouldn’t be here the rest of my life, 2-5 years maybe. A year if everything falls through. But even when I get back, nothing will be the same. Not like I expected everyone to put everything on hold and pause time for my return but when I get back I’ll have to immediately find a place of my own because my house just isn’t MY house anymore and it will be even more strange after all the renovations are done.

The good thing so far is that I’ve stopped crying… for the most part. There are still moments here or there that break my heart and I want my mommy but at the same time going home made me realize that everyone is doing fine without me. Time didn’t stop when I left and it never will. The little things will change and they will turn into the much anticipated phone calls or holiday visits. Thursday will become just another day and life will move on.

Life is so weird. I’m not sad I’m here anymore and I know I didn’t make the wrong choice. I’m learning so much about me, I just hope I don’t forget who I used to be.

There tends to be a moment right after one moves that just breaks your heart. You are not where you are supposed to be and you are missing out on all the good things you left behind. The last few days have been the absolute worst but at the same time completely fabulous. My flight home for Christmas was canceled due to a fabulous blizzard. Isn’t the weather just one of my best friends? The week I leave a snow storm and the week I try to get home, snow storm. Anyways, I am finally getting home tomorrow so the days I have had to spend here haven’t been fun at all. During my 4 hour airport ordeal of trying to get a new flight home I might two really great guys who have been super fun over the past few days. Also, I have this really great roommate who makes sure I’m not stuck in the house all day… so she takes me out at night. Thursday night was a very profitable night. First off I spent a good few hours crying knowing that Thursday night is me and dad night when the rest of the family is out doing their different things me and dad would grab dinner and hang out, just the two of us. Well that’s one thing I’m missing out on now and it really sucks. My roommate understood that I was upset and took me to old town where I met a really great guy who has already asked to see me again. I had to turn him down until I get back because not knowing the city or really where I live could turn out poorly so I’m going to wait till back up arrives, I hope that doesn’t deter him he really is handsome and charming… and of course moving away end of next month… best part… to Bozeman. Wow can I pick them. I figured hey why not anyways, we’ll have a fun month and then he’ll move away, no messy relationship. I think I prefer it this way. So to continue it’s been wild here but also terribly lonely. Can’t wait to get a job!
Happy Christmas all and if I don’t get back by the New Year, Happy that too.

I had my first job interview in my new life. It went really well and would be a super fun job. I’d be working with the opera and raising funds through corporate sponsors. So my current experience of the corporate world added a ton to the interview. She said she loved my writing style and if I got the hang of it she may consider me for grant writing opportunities. Maybe I can sweet talk my way into the national budget and get us a million a year just for being us.

Other then that, I finally have my bed and it’s been great to sleep on something other then an air mattress. I’ll be shopping for a desk soon. I’ve decided my computer and printer need a home other then my floor. A portion of my wall decorations arrived yesterday now all I have to do I finish up the project with about 4 more purchases and I’ll have the perfectly beautiful and organized room. PS I love the Container Store, huzzah to the store that embraces OCD.

It turns out that as much as it sucked to leave I was actually made for this city. Last night while out on the town I got my ass kicked back to reality. I came to the city to find my perfect job and be the perfect me. Turns out it’ll take years for that to happen but along the way I’ll meet great people who have great advice. For instance, fabulous bar manager of Mackey’s is a law grad she came to the city to be the big lady on the hill. Well turns out she fell in love with the bar she tended. She told me not to get my hopes up for the perfect job just yet. I have to get out and mingle, meeting people is the way to a job around here. She said I would start at the bottom but then I would get the job offer that changed my life. The starting at the bottom is what I don’t want to do but I guess since everyone else has to do it I might as well join the crowd.

The city is gorgeous at night and I’m so glad I don’t have a car. City driving is not for me… not yet anyway. I thought March would be too far away but so far (it’s only been 4 days) I’m not too upset that I don’t have one.

The house is coming together nicely although our homeowners association is not the best at welcoming new comers. We’ve already been reprimanded about our door color. It was that color when we moved in. But I love it! Matches our living room walls.

I’m just waiting for a free day to go furniture shopping. I’m not a big fan of air mattresses but it’s been working so far. Just want some place to put my clothes.

The inevitable is occurring. I am moving in exactly 25 days. Gettin’ the hell outta Dodge, or whatever that means. It is going to be one of my most fabulous adventures and I am super excited to get a start on it. I’m getting a little nervous and my packing list has been set and changed over a million times. Things are falling into place. Housing is nearly set, cute little townhouse in a cute little neighborhood. There is plenty of space to be just me and great roommates to hangout with. Decorating my space will be the next difficult adventure since I am bringing nothing but clothes with me.

Jobs… whatever. That is the point of this. Live it up!!! I have a few options but we will not speak of any so nothing gets jinxed. Fingers crossed though. I may end up being the international traveling historian I was hoping for. Lots to choose from out there. And damn!!! Yeah for me!!!

This is going to be a heck of a ride and a crazy adventure into the future. I hope it does not keep me away from home for too long but I will be home for Christmas so no worries. I can not stay away from the niece forever. She is just too damned cute.
Speaking of my niece she is absolutely adorable and finally has the beginnings of a personality. She will laugh and smile and she is a mover and a groover. I am still holding firm to my plan of never having children. She is enough for me.

In other news…
I contracted a crazy disease and I have no idea how I got it. It made me crazy sick and I was driven to the doctor who promptly asked me on a skiing adventure but I had to turn him down due to my condition. It was weird but kind of cute. Turns out he will be moving to my new neighborhood in a few months. We will have to keep in touch.

To the people I will miss
You have made my life a treat
Not a day will pass when I will not think of the good times

To the people I will miss
You have held my hand through every decision I have ever made
And never left my side
You have embraced me in my darkest hours
And let me fly in my glory

To the people I will miss
Never forget me
Never give up on me
Call me often and I will try to do the same

To the people I will miss
You will always be in my heart and my thoughts
Do not cry when I leave
Save the tears for when I return

To the people I will miss
I am never that far away
And I will never forget you
Or the blessings you have added to my life

Ahoy me matee’s today is finally a day for me!!! National Talk Like a Pirate Day. Today be a day to throw caution to the wind, pillage, plunder and be the pirate you want to be. Speakin in tongues no other will understand and jabberin on like you don’t give a damn. Rhymin is also a thing to do. But speak for yourselves and have a big drink… of rum that it. No finer toxin to course the body. Be sure it’s the captain’s and have a piraty like day.