Have you ever had an addiction you just can not quit? It does not have to be a bad addiction, like drugs, just something that tends to consume a lot of your time and energy.

I have one. A big one and I can not seem to kick it. No matter what I do to get above it, hide from it, ignore it, it is still always there. For years I have been riding some pretty crazy roller coasters. Knowing I do not need it but wishing frantically that I had it. I tell myself daily that I am better off without it. I justify it by saying it is “to time consuming and frustrating.” But every where I go, there it is. My friends tell me to forget about it and I do… for a few seconds. Then something happens and I am right back where I started, thinking about it again. Wishing I could do something about it. I see that someone else has it and I scorn them for it but deep down I hate myself for being so haggard about it, because I so desperately want it for myself. Damn all those people who have it. Damn them for flaunting it. Damn them for breathing, for living… but it is my fault. I made it an addiction; I made it a necessity in my life.