Back to the big city. Home was fabulous. The blizzard did suck out a lot of the fun but there was a different kind of fun to be had. I spent much more time with my family then I would have. I was able to spend an entire day with my sister and niece. She’s so absolutely adorable and I love seeing her grow through all the different stages. She’s sitting up now and attempting to roll over. My favorite part is when she cracks herself up… and talking to her animal carousel is so much fun.

I am defiantly glad it doesn’t snow much out here. I am so over snow right now. The weather has been gorgeous although I’ve been attempting to get my head back on from vacation and haven’t seen much of it. So much to do when you are trying to find a job. I really need to get one soon. I am, however, getting much closer to one. A few more details and I think it’s mine. I could use the health insurance. And just think of what I can do on my lunches!!! I’ll have to bring my walking shoes everyday.

After being home for a week I realized something… actually it was almost immediate. It’s so sad to say and it’s breaking my heart, but it’s not my home anymore. It was crazy I felt like a guest in my own room. Things were planned for me and people took time off work to be with me. I pulled my weight around the house… a bit. I’m not very helpful when it comes to “spring cleaning” during a blizzard but I shoveled the walks and apparently I’m damn sexy in my pink pajama’s, barrowed coat and horrible snow hat, the snow plow cleaned out my drive way for me. Saved me a good hour and a lot of swearing. Back to my main thought. I knew I wouldn’t be here the rest of my life, 2-5 years maybe. A year if everything falls through. But even when I get back, nothing will be the same. Not like I expected everyone to put everything on hold and pause time for my return but when I get back I’ll have to immediately find a place of my own because my house just isn’t MY house anymore and it will be even more strange after all the renovations are done.

The good thing so far is that I’ve stopped crying… for the most part. There are still moments here or there that break my heart and I want my mommy but at the same time going home made me realize that everyone is doing fine without me. Time didn’t stop when I left and it never will. The little things will change and they will turn into the much anticipated phone calls or holiday visits. Thursday will become just another day and life will move on.

Life is so weird. I’m not sad I’m here anymore and I know I didn’t make the wrong choice. I’m learning so much about me, I just hope I don’t forget who I used to be.